So yes, I have been away, for quite a while. Aaand, of course, a lot happened over these years, a LOT. But, as they say, cannot complain. I shouldn’t complain.
One of the good things that has happened to me in my current organization is that we have been made to undergo a ‘leadership programme’. Wait, it’s not as boring as it sounds. In fact, to my utter surprise, I have not found it boring at ALL. I used to believe I do not belong to such programmes. That such things are applicable for people who want to become successful managers. To my delight, I was wrong.
So the point of sharing the meta-information about the programme that we’ve been made to realize that one of the tenets of ‘transformation’ (from the downtrodden ordinary people, to leaders) is that we have to be fully responsible for our actions. “We have to ‘own’ our actions.” I never paid that much heed to this statement, until I consciously realized what it conveys. It conveys a lot more than what meets the eye — that it’s easy be the effect and not the cause of a situation. In simpler English — it’s easy to hold the situation or others responsible for our actions. The truth, however much we want to deny, is that it is we who chose to behave a certain way, and hence the responsibility is entirely ours!
A lot of times — in the mindless rat-race of proving ourselves to be perfect — an ideal employee, an ideal husband, a perfect parent, a caring son, a should-be-looked-up-to human — we tend to try to cover-up the actions we are not so proud of. While this might work in the near future, it has adverse repercussions in the long run, the most adverse being the effect on oneself. Slowly but gradually it erodes our soul.
Acceptance is liberating.
Accepting that we have been the cause of our actions — of not being the ideal in certain aspects or situations consciously brings us at peace with ourselves. The erosion stops, and so does the avoidance of facing the ground-reality. We need to realise that being at peace with ourselves is indispensable to trying to attain peace with the rest of the world.
Being at peace with ourselves lets us be aware of similar situations in future and behave in a better manner — which might still not be ideal — but still have better consequences than before. This is the key to a long-term sub-conscious aspiration of attaining the ideal behaviour.